Guide for a healthy relationship

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The last memorable Valentine's day I had (memorable because I could obviously remember almost all details) was in 2011. How could I forget that memorable day when I proposed to my girlfriend?  Yes, it was very memorable because I didn't even know what to expect.  I am not really an expressive person when it comes to my feelings.

Yesterday, I had another memorable Valentine's day.  It was a different celebration.  While most lovers were in the restaurants, parks or any places conducive for the celebration, we were in the church, the church of my wife.  There were praise and worship, sermon, ritual for couples, games and sumptuous dinner at a very affordable price.  

Coincidentally, the preacher was also the one who presided over our marriage 2 years ago.  I would like to share my own thoughts about his topic on intimacy.

There are 5 kinds of intimacy which are non-negotiable for any relationships.

1. Emotional Intimacy.  It refers to understanding each other's feelings.  Couples or those in relationships have a strong feeling for each other.

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2. Mental Intimacy.  I find it interesting that even in the intellectual level lovers or couples need to have intimacy.  It simply means that couples, lovers or even persons in community need to have level of  understanding.  They don't need to have similar IQ but they can easily reconcile differences in opinion. The key is understanding.

3. Recreational Intimacy. New lovers or couples have so much of recreational intimacy like having regular date.  Old couples and lovers need to have spices in their relationships through recreational activities that they both enjoy.  Religious communities also have recreation. Intimacy is developed when people enjoy doing things together.

4. Physical Intimacy. This kind of intimacy is experienced by lovers and couples in terms of each other's presence.  Consummation of marriage is only one of the gifts in marriage.  More than this is the "felt" presence of each other.  As Fr. Tagle (now Cardinal Tagle) said, "The family that eats together, stays together." On the other hand, a good number of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) also make their presence felt even in a far away place through the internet.

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5. Spiritual Intimacy.  Couples and lovers who go to church together have a strong bonding.  Couples and lovers who consciously and regularly pray together are blessed to have a beautiful relationship.  In other words, spiritual intimacy can only happen if God is at the center of any relationship.

Don't miss any of the following.  These are ingredients of a beautiful and blessed relationships.

May your dreams be blessed.

Randy T.

Reflection on Valentine's Day

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"Blessed are they who hope in the Lord" is the responsorial Psalm today.  Wonderful words for all of us who put our trust in the Lord for He is our great provider, protector and unconditional lover.  Incidentally, today is Valentine's day.  Before coming home, I saw a good number of girls bringing flowers, of course one of them is my wife.

But what do our responsorial Psalm and today's celebration have in common?  Hope.

The Lord is our hope.  Valentine's day is a day of love, a day where we hope for the best in all our relationships.  As long as a lover shows importance of this day to their loved one, there is hope. As long as a loved one receives a present like flowers or chocolates, there is hope in their relationship.  Just the thought that Valentine's day is meaningful for everyone shows signs of hope for a healthy and good relationship. 

I know that this morning two of my co-teachers give flowers to their wives who happen to be also working in our school.  They are giving hope to their wives and children.  They give good examples to their students.

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Valentine's day is not only a day of love.  It is a day of hope.  But we should not forget that our ultimate hope is the Lord.

In the world where broken relationships of family, friends and loved ones are common, we can still hope for the better.  It is sad to think that many those in relationships are not seeing hopes in their lives.  According to Bo Sanchez, if you see the darker side in your relationship that's only 10%.  Don't forget that 90% is still there.

This  brings me to a video I just watched today in the internet.  It shows how people see things differently. At first, people didn't recognize the beautiful painting.  It looks ugly. The ending really surprises all, including me.

Message?  We just don't see ugliness in our lives or in any situation or relationship.  As long as there is love and hope beauty would eventually reveal.  Watch this one.