Guide for a healthy relationship

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The last memorable Valentine's day I had (memorable because I could obviously remember almost all details) was in 2011. How could I forget that memorable day when I proposed to my girlfriend?  Yes, it was very memorable because I didn't even know what to expect.  I am not really an expressive person when it comes to my feelings.

Yesterday, I had another memorable Valentine's day.  It was a different celebration.  While most lovers were in the restaurants, parks or any places conducive for the celebration, we were in the church, the church of my wife.  There were praise and worship, sermon, ritual for couples, games and sumptuous dinner at a very affordable price.  

Coincidentally, the preacher was also the one who presided over our marriage 2 years ago.  I would like to share my own thoughts about his topic on intimacy.

There are 5 kinds of intimacy which are non-negotiable for any relationships.

1. Emotional Intimacy.  It refers to understanding each other's feelings.  Couples or those in relationships have a strong feeling for each other.

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2. Mental Intimacy.  I find it interesting that even in the intellectual level lovers or couples need to have intimacy.  It simply means that couples, lovers or even persons in community need to have level of  understanding.  They don't need to have similar IQ but they can easily reconcile differences in opinion. The key is understanding.

3. Recreational Intimacy. New lovers or couples have so much of recreational intimacy like having regular date.  Old couples and lovers need to have spices in their relationships through recreational activities that they both enjoy.  Religious communities also have recreation. Intimacy is developed when people enjoy doing things together.

4. Physical Intimacy. This kind of intimacy is experienced by lovers and couples in terms of each other's presence.  Consummation of marriage is only one of the gifts in marriage.  More than this is the "felt" presence of each other.  As Fr. Tagle (now Cardinal Tagle) said, "The family that eats together, stays together." On the other hand, a good number of Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) also make their presence felt even in a far away place through the internet.

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5. Spiritual Intimacy.  Couples and lovers who go to church together have a strong bonding.  Couples and lovers who consciously and regularly pray together are blessed to have a beautiful relationship.  In other words, spiritual intimacy can only happen if God is at the center of any relationship.

Don't miss any of the following.  These are ingredients of a beautiful and blessed relationships.

May your dreams be blessed.

Randy T.